Saw this on FB this morning
Me- I don’t wanna go to class today. I feel out of it
*classes is cancelled *
Me- God???? Is that you???
Me: I️ don’t want to go to work today
Boss:
(Looks like God’s got both our backs today)
Bless this day ❤️❤️❤️
I swear this post is blessed or something because I said “I want a reason to go somewhere” while looking at this post and then pretty much just after, my mother asked me to go to the store to get some eggs since I used the last 2
Reblog this post to get something you want
women who perform sexual acts on underage boys deserve to be thrown under the prison never to see the light of day again right next to the men who perform sexual acts on underage girls
and if you disagree you don’t deserve to be around kids. i wouldn’t trust you with my toenail much less a child
if you disagree you can unfollow me right now
anyways good night i’m gonna go indulge in my unrealistic romantic fantasies until i fall asleep
Peak youtube humour is non beauty gurus holding literally anything other than makeup related items in front of the camera the exact same way beauty gurus do. That makes me laugh for 15 minutes straight every single time
This is literally the funniest thing
It would be very sexy, just super erotic, completely seductive, if someone were to give me several dollars
take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong.
Me getting up from the chair at the dentist after a quadruple root canal
Your response has nothing to do with ginger ale
and your response doesn’t have anything to do with being the biggest clown on the block but here we are again
That Midwest feel: When the tornado sirens go off and you panic for a second before remembering “Oh, it’s Wednesday”
what does this mean
It means it’s Wednesday, bro. If a tornado hits on a Wednesday it can’t hurt you. Those are the rules.
Piece of media: here’s a female assassin
Me: nice
Piece of media: she kills her marks by seducing them and-
Me: *already asleep*
Piece of media: she kills her marks by seducing their wives and convincing them to murder their husbands
Me: *wakes up* Go on
